Many of the people I see have problems with anxiety and stress.  There is always stress in one’s life.  What matters is how we frame it and how we manage it.  We frame it with our life narrative, our central organizing principal.  Those are the words you say to yourself as you live your life.  It may be something like, “no matter what happens, I will always land on my feet” and you take a problem solving approach anStress managementd see stress as opportunity for growth.  On the other hand, the mantra may be “I am always a failure and everybody can see that.”  The lack of self efficacy and self confidence can really raise one’s anxiety level.

When we perceive something as threatening, the amygdala springs into action sending messages to get stress hormones moving to get us ready to fight or flee.  We may be overwhelmed and freeze or even faint. The emotion hits first milliseconds before we are able to think.  There are a couple of techniques to practice to help cope with that rush, and to help you move towards another possible reaction to stress – flow. Flow is more akin to the reaction that the person who sees a crisis as an opportunity for growth and who actively problem solves will use.  Some of these techniques involve breathing and grounding.  You can practice by getting relaxed in a chair sitting so that your body parts have good blood circulations and don’t “fall asleep.” Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.  Breathe to your diaphragm.  Place one hand on your upper chest and one on your stomach.  When you breathe, only the hand on your stomach should move.  Breathe slowly – count to four as you breathe in, hold it for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four.  Practice the breathing technique several times a day. You can pair a word with the exercise, something as simple as “serenity” or “relax” so that eventually you can just say the word to yourself and the relaxation begins.  Grounding is the process of getting yourself into the present moment – “be here now.”  Feel your feet on the floor, the way your clothes feel upon your skin, notice the colors of your environment, the shapes, the sounds, the smells, etc.  Focus on the surroundings to take yourself out of that vision of stress and into the present.

We will look at other techniques in later entries, but breathing is a good place to start and is fundamental.  When you slow your breathing down, it slows your heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, and reduces the stress you feel.  Then you can approach whatever the issue is with a clear mind.